I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
