Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
