Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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