Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
