Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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