He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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