Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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