You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
