come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
