Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
