No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
