She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize