So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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