i jhust puked up my retainher.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
