i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
