I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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