Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
