his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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