Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
