Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
