why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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