If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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