She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize