You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
