Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
