Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
