I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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