She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
