I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
soo... how was my night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
