Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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