He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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