loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
