Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
