census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
