i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
