Define "chronic" masturbator.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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