Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
