my sisters under your porch take her home
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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