it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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