we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
