sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
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Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
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You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
we should paint friendship bongs
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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