Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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