I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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