sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
