what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
