what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize