I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
