Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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