So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
