So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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