we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
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Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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