wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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