yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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