i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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