I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
