Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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