After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize