you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize