yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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