I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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