I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
