As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
