Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
