Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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