do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
